Getting tired of looking at this

We don’t seem to have much luck with plasterers. The first one we tried to contract broke his leg just after leaving our house.

The second kept cancelling and eventually we had to sack him off.

The third got started around 10 days ago. When we say ‘got started’ that’s probably being generous. It’s taken him days to really get started. He’ll turn up, do a bit and then either have to go and tax his car, get fitted for a suit for his brother’s wedding, smoke a fag or or run some other mysterious errand.

We’ve discovered several key facts about our plasterer since he’s been (occasionally) in our house:

  • He works at a slow pace. Treacle would give him a run for his money
  • He’s a bit stupid (sorry, but it’s true) so needs to be told the same thing on several occasions
  • His bucket has a leak in it and it will flood into your new kitchen diner from above, through the light fitting (no lasting harm done thankfully)
  • He can eat his own body weight in biscuits
  • And above all? He’s really really really messy.

Admittedly, we always knew the plastering stage would be a touch messy given the state of the walls and the artex ceilings but  he gets it EVERYWHERE.

We won't be having overnight guests any time soon

We won’t be having overnight guests any time soon

We now feel like we’re living in a bit of a building site and, I’m ashamed to say, we’re not even attempting to clean it up each day. I’m too ashamed to even share the photographic evidence. We are living like pigs, surrounded by plaster filth and detritus.

That damn carpet is holding up better than we are

That damn carpet is holding up better than we are

So, all in, we are finding our patience is exceedingly stretched and we’re not really getting anywhere fast. Still, he’s an honest lad, desperate to do a good job. We had been hopeful it would all be completed within the 3 week timescale he originally gave us but that is looking more and more unlikely – particularly as he ended up in A&E last week with chest pains……turns out he’s torn a muscle in his chest, right by his heart. How? Stretching to do our ceilings. Ooops. So, now there’ll be a few days off whilst he recovers from that.

Will we ever get rid of the artex that plagues us?! Even the cat is getting stroppy.

Meanwhile, we are limping towards the finish line with our kitchen diner. All will be revealed soon – promise! – but it’s looking, quite frankly,  incredible and is the one thing maintaining our sanity. Just.


Filed under Prep

13 responses to “Filth

  1. Now, I just hit the like button but that was only because you don’t have a “feel sorry for” button or an “It looks like you’re going to need a load more biscuits” button.

    I was extremely lucky – my dad used to be a builder and, as well as being an ace bricklayer, he was a pretty good plasterer. He never taught me how to do it but it turns out you can learn a lot by watching. These days, I’m brave enough to tackle even the largest ceiling and we’ve therefore only had to rely on contractors for electrics and the initial stage of the plumbing.

    I’m sure he’ll get there in the end – I just hope he doesn’t follow your blog or there’s no way he’s coming back Monday!

  2. I was really impressed that you striped all the walls in your house at one time! I can so totally relate to your frustration. We have the other half of our kitchen torn out now, which means we have NO WATER in the kitchen! The whole house is sagging under the weight of dust and I see no hope of it ever being clean again. Worse still, we are having a party in two weeks. Wish you could come and experience our mess! 🙂 Yes, we are insane. Hang in there, someday it WILL be finished and we will all look back on this fun time and laugh!

    • Having to rely on someone else to get a job done in your house is frustrating in the best of situations and in this case it sounds nigh impossible. Just know that someday it well end. In the meantime it makes for a good blog. 🙂

  3. Jo

    Plastering: one of biggest messes there is. The dust alone is insidious. But, oh, the finished product makes you want to stroke it. Jo @ Let’s Face the Music

  4. housenumber59

    Plastering really is messy! You are brave doing it all at once, but it will be so worth in the end. Can’t wait to see the final kitchen diner…!!! C x

  5. This is why my husband Peter taught himself how to plaster! He can’t do ceilings and tricky curvy bits but he’s a dab hand now with a flat wall.

  6. Hi there! I totally get where you are coming from, as we have had similar experiences with subcontractors over the past 8 months… It’s so frustrating! At least you can have a laugh about the craziness. Happy to have come across your blog and enjoy all of the lingo from the UK!

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