We don’t seem to have much luck with plasterers. The first one we tried to contract broke his leg just after leaving our house.
The second kept cancelling and eventually we had to sack him off.
The third got started around 10 days ago. When we say ‘got started’ that’s probably being generous. It’s taken him days to really get started. He’ll turn up, do a bit and then either have to go and tax his car, get fitted for a suit for his brother’s wedding, smoke a fag or or run some other mysterious errand.
We’ve discovered several key facts about our plasterer since he’s been (occasionally) in our house:
- He works at a slow pace. Treacle would give him a run for his money
- He’s a bit stupid (sorry, but it’s true) so needs to be told the same thing on several occasions
- His bucket has a leak in it and it will flood into your new kitchen diner from above, through the light fitting (no lasting harm done thankfully)
- He can eat his own body weight in biscuits
- And above all? He’s really really really messy.
Admittedly, we always knew the plastering stage would be a touch messy given the state of the walls and the artex ceilings but he gets it EVERYWHERE.
We now feel like we’re living in a bit of a building site and, I’m ashamed to say, we’re not even attempting to clean it up each day. I’m too ashamed to even share the photographic evidence. We are living like pigs, surrounded by plaster filth and detritus.
So, all in, we are finding our patience is exceedingly stretched and we’re not really getting anywhere fast. Still, he’s an honest lad, desperate to do a good job. We had been hopeful it would all be completed within the 3 week timescale he originally gave us but that is looking more and more unlikely – particularly as he ended up in A&E last week with chest pains……turns out he’s torn a muscle in his chest, right by his heart. How? Stretching to do our ceilings. Ooops. So, now there’ll be a few days off whilst he recovers from that.
Will we ever get rid of the artex that plagues us?! Even the cat is getting stroppy.
Meanwhile, we are limping towards the finish line with our kitchen diner. All will be revealed soon – promise! – but it’s looking, quite frankly, incredible and is the one thing maintaining our sanity. Just.